Written at 1015AM, 25/5/09. (Posted only much later because I have no access)
It’s a bore…really! This office, this place…seems like it’s not making sense anymore. I thought that pictures pasted on the wall in front of me (pics of my sister and I in Cappadocia and Pamukkale, Joan and me at Sepang, an A4 size poster of Fernando Alonso, an autographed picture from Fernando Alonso and an A4 size poster of Kimi Raikonnen) would evidently wash away the boredom I have in this so boring office. No one is around at the moment. I’m alone coz all those colleagues of mine have time in their hands to go for a half hour breakfast! It’s 10+ for goodness sake. I guess they are lucky to be able to do that. They are sales staff they can do anything they want.
I miss the comfort of having Susan and Huang Xiao around in the office so that I have someone to talk to. Even Jean is not around anymore having to shift to the other side of the wall. My current buddy and I don’t really talk to each other because we have nothing to talk about.
People are leaving the bank and I’ve been waiting for my turn since at least July/August 2008. Only Allah have the answer to this question: when is my turn?
I’ve pondered and wondered and questioned, sitting here alone with not much to do…just routine work and I pray that it won’t drive me insane. I’ve got to keep my feet firmly on the ground and just be patient with this environment and these people who are driving me nuts 80% of my time in the office.
I’m seeking solace in this quietness…this “it’s-only-me-in-the-office-there’s-absolutely-no-one-else”…so I began writing again and thinking too…just to keep me sane and mentally healthy.
I’m glad I have Yanping and Atiqa who could email me once in a while and make me believe that there is something else I can live for: friends and family. And maybe I should also add 2 more ‘F’s into there: football and Formula 1 because that’s all I read about when I get bored especially F1…sigh.
I'm looking forward to swimming later after work. Can hardly wait!