There are quite a few things that I need to put out in words and maybe I should break them into 2 entries.
Sometimes I wonder what I had done in my 22 years if life to be living the way I am right now. I'm surrounded by people who I love and love me back but it has not stopped me from being lonely. There's just something missing in my life and I can't figure it out.
I may be smiling and luaghing crazy at one moment but the next I'll be so sad and depressed and just miserable. I'm not even sure if my laughter and smiles are just the things I do to push the "miserable-ness" inside of me away. What if it is? Then I'll feel scared.
I've never meant to hurt anybody and I've never meant for things to turn out they way it had. Every single time I think about the things I had done in the past, all I want to do is to turn back time and just re-do it all over again, making sure that every details turns out the way it should.
People...everyone deserves and explanation and it seemed like I have given reasons for them to hate or think badly of me.
I hope for whatever that is weighing my shoulder at this moment to just go away.
