Saturday, August 18, 2007 9:43 AM
I was scared…every single day. It wasn’t easy doing what I did. It took a lot of patience, skill and I had to be on my toes all the time. The people I met and talked to everyday was the major reason of all these pressures. They could be unreasonable and refuse to understand my explanation or rationality. The pressure to serve them the best way possible could sometimes lead to my doom. Mistakes were not really forgiven nor were they welcomed.
“Do it right the first time…every time.”
I think that was the motto. But it was always difficult to follow. I could not understand how some people could do that every single day. People said that you learned through the mistakes that you made but I always felt the pressure of doing it right the second time and then I just screwed it up all again.
I didn’t get why every time the time comes for a review, there was just some major thing that comes up and will affect me in a great way. Maybe it was the clothes I wore that day. Seems like it because that same set of clothes brought me to face all these problems. Or maybe it was just me. I was too pressured to perform leading to mind games that I did not realize I was playing. Maybe it was me all these while.
I knew I had to pick it up. I should not let it bother me. I knew I had been doing quite well but the unforeseen forces or circumstances led me to act irrationally sometimes. I knew I could do it. Afterall, I had survived for almost a year.
~ (C) ramia
