Something from The New Paper
HAPPINESS
To be a happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has teh last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is a beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU TO GET MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to Paul at weddings, poking him in the ribs and cackling, telling him: "You're next."
They stopped after he started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
